The three biggest regrets: The first one is having an estranged family member or friend. I remember a gentleman who cried and told me he was so sad because he was dying, and he wanted to make contact with his brother before he died. This person knew he would die in the next day or two. I suggested that he call his brother and he cried more and shared, “I don’t know where he is, and I don’t have his phone number because we haven't spoken in thirty years. I think he lives in Germany, but I don’t know.” When I asked why they hadn’t spoken, he said, “I don’t even remember why we don’t talk, it’s been so long.”
Sometimes things can get out of hand, or go somewhere you don’t want it to go. So it’s best to resolve issues that may come up between you and family or friends. People who carry rancor, carry a heavy burden till the day they die. Conflict is common and is part of life. Conflict resolution is a fundamental life skill that will help you live in peace, accomplish goals, and have better relationships with others. Resolve your differences with others, don’t let petty things occupy your mind and waste your time.
The second regret is not living the life you wanted to live or accomplishing things you wanted to do. Although it’s number two, it’s probably the most impactful in people’s lives. I had a patient tell me about his life before he passed away and he had a lot of regrets, the biggest being that he did not live the life he wanted to live. He said his parents pressured him into studying to be an engineer, so he did, and he worked in this profession his whole life, but he always hated it. He said he wanted to be an architect, but his parents did not approve and thought he would be wasting his time studying architecture. So he did what they wanted to make them proud, but he spent his whole life regretting it.
This is a burning, long term, sinister regret that permeates your everyday life. Although your life is short, not following your dreams will make your time on earth seem very long. Seek knowledge and understanding, but at the end of the day, make your own decisions for your life. Don’t let other people’s opinions overrule your plans. Be someone who decides things and follows through, instead of someone who just talks about doing great things someday. If you decide to do something and you fail, you’ll still feel better than if you didn’t do it because someone told you not to. Because you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that you tried and you had the opportunity to learn from it. And even though it didn’t work out, you will feel complete knowing it was mentally resolved.
The third biggest regret is not having traveled as much as you may have wanted. This is subjective to every person’s desires to travel as some people are fulfilled traveling close to home and prefer to avoid long-distance travel out of fear of the unknown. For more suggestions, I recommend reading “How to Travel the World and Live with No Regrets. Learn How to Travel for Free, Find Cheap Places to Travel, and Discover Life-Changing Travel Destinations.”
Gather information, learn, sharpen your skills, and definitely act on whatever it is you want to do. Don’t live with regrets.